Bionic Woman

Have you heard the news? I’m now a bionic woman!

Every woman with healthcare 40 and over should know what this FABULOUS cape means!

Went in to get my ma’ams grammed and the doctor found something in IN MY ARMPIT, which she’s never seen in that location. (Good eye, good eye. Also, leave it to me to try new things for the medical world to marvel over.)

It’s just a lump, it has been there for years and didn’t necessarily worry me, (poor Adam, he was freaking out) but of course doctors want to be thorough (or do they want my money?) I went in for a biopsy and received a titanium marker—the size of the tip of a ball point pen—as a prize placed in the lump. It must have been weird for the doctor to be working on my armpit, I know it was weird for me. Turns out it’s called a fibroadenoma, a quite common, benign mass made of breast tissue which DOES wrap up into the armpit.

I’m told I’d be surprised how many women have these markers. Sweet! I’m in a secret club.

(Below: Marker not shown. I sneaked a photo of the fibroadenoma before the procedure began. And then watched out of one eye, the proceedings on screen. Ew, David.)

Now a doctor looking at any kind of scan will see this little lump’o mine and the marker is going to shine, shine, shine, shine, shine. And they’ll know it’s already been examined.

Lastly, my armpit won’t be setting off any alarms at the airport. Bummer.